We're What?
by ThievesOverBullies
Summary: One shot. Someone gets hitched in the missing year, for OQ week.


Prompt-Marriage, reposted to fix something

Regina was fuming as she walked to her room, how dare that thief try to outsmart her again. He was always so...so damn handsome! No! So damn irritating. He was like a pesky knat always buzzing around her. And the way he would look at her...like he knew what she looked like under her clothes, with that damn sexy smirk on his face. Sexy?

"Pull it together, Regina," Regina said to herself as instead of going to her room, she went to the kitchen instead, to try to find a drink. Whiskey, Rum, Mead, anything to get that damn thief out of her head.

She had just walked into the kitchen, when she heard a voice.

"Care for a drink?" Regina looked to her right and saw that damn thief standing there.

"Great! Don't you have anything better to do than bother me? I hear bowling is enjoyable," Regina said as she rolled her eyes at him.

"Bowling? Your majesty?" Robin asked, clearly confused but enjoyable their sass with one another.

"Never mind, get your drink and leave," Regina said as she went to get her a glass.

"Oh, but it's impolite for a gentleman to leave a lady to drink alone," Robin said as he poured her a drink into her glass.

"But you're not gentleman," Regina said as she turned to leave, since he was not going to leave.

"And you are no lady," Robin said, and with that she stopped in her tracks and turned back around. Most people would be immediately terrified of the look that she just threw at him, but Robin was no afraid of her. For some reason, he thought she enjoyed their bickering back and forth. He knew he did, no one had ever held his attention like this. From the moment he had saved her from the flying monkey, looking down into her beautiful face, he been found himself lost in her eyes. Almost like he had been born to look into those eyes.

"How dare you insult me in my own castle?" Regina asked, her temper getting the best of her.

"But you love to insult me," Robin countered back.

"Why do you like to irritate me so?" Regina asked.

"Why do you rise to the occasion?" Robin replied.

"You're just so...so..." Regina was saying.

"So? Charming? Handsome devil?" Robin said with a smirk on his face.

"Just so you," Regina said.

"Well, I'll take that as a compliment. Now why don't we sit down and have a drink?" Robin asked.

"You want to have a drink with me? Now?" Regina asked.

"Well, I can't think of anyone better to have a drink with right now," Robin said.

"Fine," Regina said.

"Now let's toast to...to a new beginning," Robin said.

"Great, the next thing we'll be singing we are the world," Regina murmured under her breath.

"What was that?" Robin asked.

"Nothing," Regina said as she clinked glasses with him. Robin looked at her, really looked at her, as if seeing to the inside of her soul. Regina started to feel uncomfortable and started looking around the room.

"I have an idea," Robin said.

"That's a first," Regina quietly said as Robin chuckled lightly at her.

"How about we have a little drinking game? I'll ask you a question, and if you don't want to answer it, then you have to do a drink?" Robin asked.

"Next, we'll be playing spin the bottle," Regina said as Robin looked at her with a question on his face. "Just ask."

"Alright, what caused you and the Princess to be like you are?" Robin asked.

"She couldn't keep a secret and because of it, the love of my life died," Regina answered.

"I'm sorry. How did it happen?" Robin asked.

"That's another question," Regina said as Robin nodded. "Since we're on such a wonderful topic, how did your wife die?"

"Marian had always been sickly since she was carrying Roland, and I had left her at our home to finish a job, but it turns out it was all a trick. The man who wanted to marry her before me, sent men to bring her to him, but in doing so they injured her and because of her wounds she died," Robin said as he would never get over this.

"What were you like as a child?" Robin asked.

"I used to be a naive person, thought my future would turn out quite differently," Regina answered. She knew she would have been different if Daniel had lived. But sadly he had not, and her fate was set.

"I think you want to be like that person before," Robin said.

"What makes you think you know me so well?" Regina asked.

"Well, I'm sure after all this bickering back and forth, I'd be charred to a crisp right now if you didn't want me around you," Robin said.

"And what were you like as a child? Still as irritating?" Regina asked, completely ignoring his previous statement. She took a sip of her drink, needing it at the moment.

"Well, what you might call irritating another one might call, determined," Robin answered as he watched her take a drink, after drink. "Do you find my dimples appealing?"

"Next question," Regina said as she took another drink.

"Alright, but this time you have to answer me. Do you want to kiss me right now?" Robin asked as he saw her choke on her drink and he smiled at her, he could tell she had been thinking about it. He wonders if she had thought about it as long as he had been thinking about it. How her lips would feel under his own, how she would taste, how she would feel under him...on top of him.

"I'd sooner kiss a wookie," Regina said, her words were slightly coming out slow and a little sluggish.

"A what?" Robin asked. He was on the edge of being drunk.

"Never mind," Regina said.

"When's the last time you got lucky?" Regina said as she took another drink.

"Lucky?" Robin raised his eyebrows at her.

"When's the last time you got laid?" Regina asked. She was drunk and she knew it.

"Well, not that I would call it that, but it's been awhile," Robin said.

"Figures," Regina said.

"How about you, when's the last time you got laid?" Robin asked.

"About two years," Regina said as she put her glass down and stood up, a little clumsy in doing so and walked over to him and placed her hands on his shoulders, massaging them. "It's been too long since I've had anyone between my thighs, giving me the relief I need." She whispered into his ear.

"Well maybe it's all about timing," Robin said as his breeches felt way too small right now, he wasn't thinking, he was just feeling. Feeling what she was doing to his body right now.

"Yes, timing can be important, especially if its too soon," Regina said as she moved her hands from his shoulders to his chest, she heard his sharp intake of breath as she moved his shirt slightly away to touch his naked chest. "Things have to be timed out, felt out fully to make sure its adequate," Regina said as her hands moved down his body even more, one of her hands was on the build of his erection, that was straining against his breeches.

"And is is?" Robin managed to get out.

"Hmmm," Regina said as she moved her hand up and down his length, hidden in his pants still. "Why don't we try it out and see?" Regina moved one hand to take his cheek in her hand, and kissed him hard on the mouth. She felt as if time itself had been suspended. His hands moved to take her head in them, holding her mouth where he wanted it to be. Robin stood quickly and picked her up by her hips, putting her on the table, sitting there with him between her thighs.

It was when she felt the coolness of air tighten her breasts that realization dawned. She had been unaware that he had unbuttoned her dress, unaware of anything except the sweet pressure of his mouth and the feel of the hard, dominant body on hers. Regina felt the cool air on her thighs and knew that Robin had moved her dress up, his hands were touching her, really touching her, causing her to moan into his mouth. A few moments later, his mouth left her lips only to move down her body, until he was kneeling down between her thighs, he gave her one last smirk before his head lowered to her core and she closed her eyes.

Regina opened her eyes to a pounding headache, and the room spinning. She rose up slowly, not recognizing the room she was in. "What happened last night?" She muttered to herself.

"Good morning," a male voice said, Regina turned her head quickly...bad mistake and saw Robin in the bed beside her.

"What are you doing?" Regina asked as she pulled the sheet up to cover herself.

"I'm saying good morning...to my wife," Robin said as he rose up to sit beside her.

"Your what?" Regina asked.

"My wife, you don't remember us getting married last night?" Robin asked.

"No! I would never do something so...so..."Regina stammered.

"So pleasurable?" Robin offered.

"I would never marry you, you're a thief and not to be trusted," Regina said.

"You trusted me with your body last night, on the kitchen table, the wall, this very bed," Robin reminded her.

"Besides you smell like forest," Regina said.

"Well that didn't bother you last night," Robin reminded her.

"So we banged, it doesn't mean I was that stupid enough to marry you," Regina said as she held her head with her hand. "Besides who would be stupid enough to marry us?"

As Robin was about to answer, there was a knock on his door, Regina hid under the covers as Robin called out, "Come in!"

In walked Friar Tuck, "Good Morning, Robin. The Merry Men wanted me to come here and wish you a very happy marriage. It was an honor to officiate your wedding last night,or early this morning."

"Sorry about that, Friar Tuck," Robin said as Friar Tuck nodded. "Thank the men for the both of us."

"I will do. Have a great day Mrs. Hood," Friar Tuck called out as he left the room.

"He married us? He must have been drunk as well," Regina said.

"No just happy to marry his friend," Robin said.

"Well he can unmarry us as well," Regina said.

"Now why would he want to do that?" Robin asked.

"You're serious? I have no plans to in this farce of a marriage, once was more than enough," Regina said.

"You were married to an old man, why not try it with one closer to your own age, and a way with pleasing a woman, you," Robin said.

"You could never please me," Regina said.

"That's not what you were saying when I had my head between your thighs last night," Robin said. "Or again when you were riding me in this very bed again last night."

"I must have really been drunk last night," Regina said.

"I've never had such pleasures with a woman, and just imagine the more we will share together," Robin said as he caught her lips and kissed them. Their talk about whether to stay in their marriage could wait...an hour...or five.

Right now, the Hoods had other things on their minds...


End file.
